Prioritises physical safety and presence
I am right here with you to keep you safe while you have these big feelings.
Reduces sensory overload by suggesting a move
It is very busy and loud here. Let's move to that quiet corner near the lift so we can breathe.
Validates the specific disappointment
I see that you are really frustrated because we cannot buy that toy today.
Separates the child from the behaviour
It is okay to feel angry, but I cannot let you kick in the middle of the aisle.
Offers a calming physical connection
My arms are open if you need a hug to help your body feel calm again.
Models calm breathing techniques
I am going to take some deep breaths right here, and you can join me when you are ready.
Focuses on emotional regulation over punishment
Your heart is beating very fast. Let's sit on this bench together until it slows down.
Provides a clear boundary with empathy
I hear how much you want to stay, but our shopping time is finished for now.
Encourages the child to use their voice
I want to understand what you need. I will listen as soon as your voice is as quiet as mine.
De-escalates by identifying the physical sensation
I can see your face is very red and your fists are tight. That is a lot of anger for one body.
Offers a sense of partnership in the struggle
We are a team, and we will get through this difficult moment together.
Removes the pressure of the 'audience'
Don't worry about anyone else. I am only focusing on you and helping you feel better.
Provides an alternative for a sibling
Siti, please hold my other hand while I help Arjun find his calm.
Gives the child a sense of limited agency
Do you want to walk to the car yourself, or do you need me to carry you?
Normalises the feeling of being overwhelmed
Sometimes malls feel too big and too loud for me too. I understand.
Labels the emotion to build EQ
It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed. Let's find a way to make things feel smaller.
Maintains a low, steady tone of voice
I'm going to use my soft voice to help your ears feel a bit better.
Acknowledges effort during de-escalation
I can see you are trying really hard to catch your breath. You are doing it.
Redirects once the peak has passed
Now that your body is calmer, let's talk about what we can do next.
Reaffirms unconditional love
I love you even when you are having a hard time. I am not going anywhere.
