The Police Report
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged!
Because it got mugged!
The Sad Cup
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
A depresso.
A depresso.
The Tech Expert
How does a computer programmer like their coffee?
Install-ed!
Install-ed!
The Bermuda Triangle
What do you call it when you walk into the kitchen and forget why?
A "brew-muda" triangle.
A "brew-muda" triangle.
The Grounded Dad
Why was the coffee so quiet?
Because it was grounded!
Because it was grounded!
The Morning Greeting
What did the coffee say to the sugar?
"You're my sweet-tea!"
"You're my sweet-tea!"
The Late Arrival
Why was the coffee late for work?
It got stuck in a French Press!
It got stuck in a French Press!
The Espresso Shot
Why did the espresso keep checking its watch?
Because it was pressed for time!
Because it was pressed for time!
The Mean Bean
What do you call a coffee that's always picking fights?
A mean bean!
A mean bean!
The Sleeping Pill
Why did the man tip-toe past the coffee shop?
He didn't want to wake the beans!
He didn't want to wake the beans!
The Breakfast Bandit
What do you call a dad who loves breakfast way too much?
A cereal killer!
A cereal killer!
The Snap & Crackle
What is a detective's favorite breakfast?
Cheerios (Sherlock-ios)!
Cheerios (Sherlock-ios)!
The Toasty Wedding
Did you hear about the two pieces of bread that got married?
The ceremony was great, but the toast was the best part!
The ceremony was great, but the toast was the best part!
The Wealthy Loaf
What did the donut say to the bread?
"If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn't be around all these crumbs!"
"If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn't be around all these crumbs!"
The Cereal Mystery
Why did the cereal go to jail?
Because it was a fruit-looper!
Because it was a fruit-looper!
The Sad Pancake
Why was the pancake so good at baseball?
Because he was a great flipper!
Because he was a great flipper!
The Oat Detective
What do you call a bowl of oatmeal that solves crimes?
Sherlock Holmes-meal!
Sherlock Holmes-meal!
The Waffle Truth
Why do waffles always win at arguments?
Because they never waffle!
Because they never waffle!
The Grainy Greeting
What did the toast say to the butter?
"You're on a roll!"
"You're on a roll!"
The Rice Start
How do you make a gold soup?
Put 24 carrots in it!
Put 24 carrots in it!
The Comedic Egg
Why did the bacon laugh?
Because the egg cracked a yolk!
Because the egg cracked a yolk!
The Egg-cellent Student
Why did the egg go to school?
To get "egg-ucated"!
To get "egg-ucated"!
The Fragile Joke
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up!
They'd crack each other up!
The Breakfast Search
How do you find a missing egg?
You scramble!
You scramble!
The Grumpy Bacon
Why was the bacon so grumpy?
Because it was feeling a bit fried!
Because it was feeling a bit fried!
The Egg's Vacation
Where do eggs go on vacation?
New Yolk City!
New Yolk City!
The Scrambled Brain
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
"It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid!"
"It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid!"
The Bacon Tree
What do you call a pig that's been out in the sun?
Bacon!
Bacon!
The Sunny Side
Why did the egg cross the road?
To get to the sunny side!
To get to the sunny side!
The Tough Egg
What do you call a mischievous egg?
A practical yolker!
A practical yolker!
The Morning Realization
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went...
Then it dawned on me!
Then it dawned on me!
The High Temperature
Why did the sun go to school?
To get a little brighter!
To get a little brighter!
The Early Bird
What is an early bird's favorite type of math?
Owl-gebra!
Owl-gebra!
The Alarm Clock
Why was the alarm clock so angry?
Because it kept getting ticked off!
Because it kept getting ticked off!
The Snooze Button
What's an alarm clock's favorite snack?
Snooze-berries!
Snooze-berries!
The Rooster's Job
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove to the neighbors he wasn't chicken!
To prove to the neighbors he wasn't chicken!
The Morning Dew
What did the grass say to the morning dew?
"Stop misting me!"
"Stop misting me!"
The Dawn Chorus
Why do birds sing in the morning?
Because they don't have to go to work!
Because they don't have to go to work!
The Sun's Degree
Why did the sun skip college?
It already had over 28 million degrees!
It already had over 28 million degrees!
The Bed Head
What do you call a person who is always waking up early?
A morning glory!
A morning glory!
The Morning Exercise
I did a morning workout today...
I did 50 "stop-hitting-the-snooze-button" reps!
I did 50 "stop-hitting-the-snooze-button" reps!
The Tea-riffic Morning
How does a scientist start their morning?
With a cup of liber-tea!
With a cup of liber-tea!
The OJ Secret
Why was the orange juice so smart?
Because it focused on its concentrate!
Because it focused on its concentrate!
The Heavy Noodle
What's the heaviest breakfast in Singapore?
A Wanton (one-tonne) noodle!
A Wanton (one-tonne) noodle!
The BreadTalk Secret
Why do I love mornings at BreadTalk?
Because the buns are always on a roll!
Because the buns are always on a roll!
The Legend-Dairy
What do you call a cow that wakes up early?
The cream of the crop!
The cream of the crop!
The Cold Hard Cash
Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard breakfast cash!
He wanted cold hard breakfast cash!
The Smart Fruit
What fruit is always ready for school in the morning?
A "bright" orange!
A "bright" orange!
The Final Stretch
How do you get a sleepy person out of bed?
Use a "tractor" beam!
Use a "tractor" beam!
The Last Word
Why did I tell these jokes this morning?
To give you a "bright" start!
To give you a "bright" start!
