Walk into any cafe or food centre at lunch, and you will spot it right away. A child sitting in front of an iPad watching cartoons, while a parent spoons food into their mouth.
It takes only a couple of seconds for passers-by to pass judgement. Most assume someone is just lazy, distracted, or taking an easy shortcut.
Someone walking past will give that small shake of the head.
Having lived through those exact years ourselves, we look at that table very differently.
The Morning Nobody Saw
When we see that scene today, we remember the long mornings that led up to our own seats. We remember the days our little ones rejected an earlier meal and refused to take even a single bite.
We sat there feeling anxious about basic nutrition, watching them lose weight and feeling helpless.
Maybe that child is teething, leaving tender and sore gums. Or maybe an ulcer inside their cheek makes every swallow painful.
They feel vexed because they want to eat, but each mouthful brings discomfort. Every time the spoon comes close, they turn their head away.
The Blame We Already Carried
By the time we finally sat down to eat on days like that, we were worn out after battling the entire morning. Hours had gone into coaxing, clearing away uneaten food, and trying to soothe an upset child.
Propping up that tablet on the table was never something we felt proud of doing.
Our own minds were already blaming us for needing the screen to get food in. We parents judge ourselves much harder than any stranger could, and we never needed a cold look from someone walking past.
When Just Getting Food In Comes First
We knew the tablet was only temporary. We always recognised that screens should not become a permanent habit at the dining table.
On those difficult days, we simply had to prioritise making sure food entered that small belly so the body could recover. The cartoons distracted them just enough to swallow without distress.
By the time we packed up, the bowl was empty.
The stomach was full, and having lived through that season together, we know that was the only metric that mattered.