The Barnyard Curfew
Me: "Go to bed, the cows are already asleep."
Son: "So what?"
Me: "It's pasture bedtime!"
Son: "So what?"
Me: "It's pasture bedtime!"
Prehistoric Sleep
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore!
A dino-snore!
Intergalactic Parenting
How do you get an alien baby to sleep?
You rock-it!
You rock-it!
The Bedtime Stall
What do you call a kid who is fighting going to sleep?
Resisting a rest!
Resisting a rest!
Literary Rest
Where do books sleep?
Under their covers!
Under their covers!
The Ginger-Bed
What does the gingerbread man sleep on?
Cookie sheets!
Cookie sheets!
The Night Shift
Why was the broom late for bed?
It over-swept!
It over-swept!
The Royal Treatment
Where does a prince sleep?
On an heir mattress!
On an heir mattress!
The Natural Talent
I'm so good at sleeping...
I can do it with my eyes closed!
I can do it with my eyes closed!
The Final Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Goat.
Goat who?
Goat to sleep!
Who's there?
Goat.
Goat who?
Goat to sleep!
Aquatic Slumber
Where do fish sleep?
On the river bed!
On the river bed!
Spicy Dreams
Why did the boy hide sugar under his pillow?
So he would have sweet dreams!
So he would have sweet dreams!
The Dragon Duel
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights!
So they can fight knights!
The Cleaning Lady
What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom?
"It's time to go to sweep!"
"It's time to go to sweep!"
The Heavy Machinery
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
A bulldozer!
The Musical Miracle
The urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is always just...
A whim away, a whim away!
A whim away, a whim away!
The Bear Minimum
What do you call pajamas for a grizzly?
The bear minimum!
The bear minimum!
The High Jump
Why did the boy jump into bed?
He wanted to catch up on his sleep!
He wanted to catch up on his sleep!
The Wise Owl
Why don't owls ever sleep at night?
They're too busy giving a hoot!
They're too busy giving a hoot!
The Shell-ter
Where do turtles sleep?
In a shell-ter!
In a shell-ter!
The Morning Realization
I couldn't figure out why I hadn't been sleeping all night...
And then it dawned on me.
And then it dawned on me.
The Pharmacy Etiquette
Why did the pharmacist walk on her tiptoes?
She didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
She didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
The Broken Clock
What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock!
Time to get a new clock!
The Loud Socks
Why do clowns wear loud socks?
To stop their feet from falling asleep!
To stop their feet from falling asleep!
The Counting Game
What do you call a sheep that's always tired?
A sheep-ish sleeper!
A sheep-ish sleeper!
The Starry Night
Why did the sun go to bed?
Because it was star-ted!
Because it was star-ted!
The Light Sleeper
Why was the lamp so tired?
Because it was a light sleeper!
Because it was a light sleeper!
The Blanket Statement
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
"Oh, sheet!"
"Oh, sheet!"
The Rug Bug
How do you know if a bug is tired?
He's snug as a bug in a rug!
He's snug as a bug in a rug!
The Scary-o-ke
What do you call a monster that sings you to sleep?
A scary-o-ke singer!
A scary-o-ke singer!
The Under-the-bed-ding
What did the monster under the bed say?
"I've got you covered!"
"I've got you covered!"
The Nap Sack
What do you call a bag that's tired?
A nap-sack!
A nap-sack!
The Foot Locker
Why did the feet go to bed?
They were tired of being walked on!
They were tired of being walked on!
The Bed Head
Why did the boy bring a ladder to bed?
He wanted to reach high dreams!
He wanted to reach high dreams!
The Team Work
Why is sleeping like a sport?
Because it's all about the dream-work!
Because it's all about the dream-work!
The Ghost Sheet
Why was the ghost so good at sleeping?
He was a real sheet-er!
He was a real sheet-er!
The Snooze Button
What's an alarm clock's favorite snack?
Snooze-berries!
Snooze-berries!
The Z-Alphabet
Why is the letter Z so tired?
Because everyone uses it to sleep!
Because everyone uses it to sleep!
The Forty Winks
What do you call a math teacher who's napping?
A forty-winks expert!
A forty-winks expert!
The Light Bulb
What did the light bulb say before bed?
"I'm out!"
"I'm out!"
The Bedbug Truth
Why should you never tell a secret in bed?
Because the bed has ears and the bedbugs might bite!
Because the bed has ears and the bedbugs might bite!
The Horse Power
How do horses go to sleep?
They hit the hay!
They hit the hay!
The Lumberjack
What do you call someone who is always sleeping?
A professional log-sawer!
A professional log-sawer!
The Lullaby
What do you call a baby that loves to sleep?
A lull-a-buy!
A lull-a-buy!
The Tucked In
Why did the shirt go to bed?
It wanted to be tucked in!
It wanted to be tucked in!
The Nighty-Night
What do you call a knight who's tired?
Sir Zzz-a-lot!
Sir Zzz-a-lot!
The Snooze Fest
What do you call a party where everyone falls asleep?
A snooze-fest!
A snooze-fest!
The Sibling Rivalry
Why did the sister put a clock under her pillow?
She wanted to sleep on time!
She wanted to sleep on time!
The Best Story
What's a parent's favorite bedtime story?
The one where the kids actually fall asleep!
The one where the kids actually fall asleep!
The Final Word
Why did the boy sleep on the chandelier?
He was a very light sleeper!
He was a very light sleeper!
