The Star Employee
Why was the soccer player a great employee?
Because he was always reaching his goals!
Because he was always reaching his goals!
The Messy Room
Why is it so hard to hang out with soccer players?
Because they're always just kicking it.
Because they're always just kicking it.
The Tea Party
Which soccer player has the best tea?
The goalie, because he's a great "keeper."
The goalie, because he's a great "keeper."
Lighting Issues
Why was the soccer pitch so bright?
The players kept using the "floodlights."
The players kept using the "floodlights."
The Magic Show
What do you call a soccer player who does magic?
A "trick" shot expert!
A "trick" shot expert!
The Sad Field
Why was the soccer field so sad?
Because the grass was always being "stepped" on!
Because the grass was always being "stepped" on!
The Late Player
Why did the soccer player bring a string to the game?
He wanted to "tie" the score!
He wanted to "tie" the score!
The Bird Watching
What is a soccer player's favorite bird?
A "goal" (gull)!
A "goal" (gull)!
The Cinderella Story
Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
Because she kept running away from the ball!
Because she kept running away from the ball!
The Penalty Box
Why did the soccer player go to the bank?
To get his "quarters" back!
To get his "quarters" back!
The Criminal Record
Why did the basketball player go to jail?
Because he "shot" the ball!
Because he "shot" the ball!
The Laundry Room
Why are basketball players so good at laundry?
Because they're experts at "dunking"!
Because they're experts at "dunking"!
The Breakfast Table
What is a basketball player's favorite snack?
"Hostess Hoops"!
"Hostess Hoops"!
The Sunny Game
Why did the basketball player wear sunglasses?
Because his shots were "on fire"!
Because his shots were "on fire"!
The High Expectations
Why was the basketball team so tall?
Because they kept growing "hoops"!
Because they kept growing "hoops"!
The Broken Heart
Why did the basketball player break up with his girlfriend?
She kept "playing" him!
She kept "playing" him!
The Net Worth
Why are basketball players so rich?
Because they have a high "net" worth!
Because they have a high "net" worth!
The Library Secret
Why don't basketball players ever read?
They're afraid of the "traveling" violations!
They're afraid of the "traveling" violations!
The Medical Checkup
Why did the basketball go to the doctor?
It was feeling a little "deflated"!
It was feeling a little "deflated"!
The Professional Foul
Why did the teacher go to the basketball game?
To grade the "passing"!
To grade the "passing"!
The Fashion Emergency
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a "hole in one"!
In case he got a "hole in one"!
The Relationship Advice
Why is it hard to marry a tennis player?
Because "love" means nothing to them!
Because "love" means nothing to them!
The High Noise Level
Why are golfers so quiet?
Because they're always looking for their "par"-don!
Because they're always looking for their "par"-don!
The Net Profit
Why do tennis players make great business partners?
They're excellent at the "net"!
They're excellent at the "net"!
The Driving Range
Why did the golfer get a new car?
He wanted to improve his "drive"!
He wanted to improve his "drive"!
The Court Date
Why did the tennis player go to court?
Because his "serve" was too fast!
Because his "serve" was too fast!
The Forest Trip
Why did the golfer stay in the woods?
He was working on his "branch" office!
He was working on his "branch" office!
The Yellow Ball
What do you call a tennis player who's always yelling?
A "racket" (racquet) maker!
A "racket" (racquet) maker!
The Birdie Secret
What did the golf ball say to the golf club?
"See you in a 'stroke'!"
"See you in a 'stroke'!"
The Tennis Court
Why was the tennis court so loud?
All the players were making a "racket"!
All the players were making a "racket"!
The Minor Leagues
Why did the baseball player bring a pacifier to the game?
He wanted to play in the "minor" leagues!
He wanted to play in the "minor" leagues!
The Spider Game
Why are spiders great baseball players?
Because they're experts at catching "flies"!
Because they're experts at catching "flies"!
The Financial Plan
Why did the baseball player go to the bank?
To check his "batting" average!
To check his "batting" average!
The Bug Problem
Why was the cricket player so itchy?
Because his "bat" was full of termites!
Because his "bat" was full of termites!
The Diamond Truth
Why is a baseball field like a jewelry store?
Because it's a "diamond"!
Because it's a "diamond"!
The Sleepy Pitcher
Why did the baseball pitcher go to bed?
He wanted to throw some "shut-outs"!
He wanted to throw some "shut-outs"!
The Tea Time
Which sport do mummies love the most?
"Cric-ket" (like crypt)!
"Cric-ket" (like crypt)!
The Batty Hobby
What do you call a vampire who plays baseball?
A "bat" man!
A "bat" man!
The Home Run
Why was the baseball player so good at baking?
He was always on "home" plate!
He was always on "home" plate!
The Bowling Strike
Why are bowlers such good employees?
They always "strike" while the iron is hot!
They always "strike" while the iron is hot!
The Marathon Mystery
I ran a marathon today...
The "stop-eating-snacks" marathon. I came in last.
The "stop-eating-snacks" marathon. I came in last.
The Aquatic Math
Why are swimmers so good at math?
They're used to doing "laps"!
They're used to doing "laps"!
The Shoe Scandal
Why did the runner stop halfway through the race?
He had "lost" his sole!
He had "lost" his sole!
The Skateboard Rolls
What is a skateboarder's favorite food?
"Rolls"!
"Rolls"!
The Gymnast Bar
A gymnast walks into a bar...
And gets a two-point deduction.
And gets a two-point deduction.
The Finish Line
Why did the runner cross the finish line twice?
Because he was "double-tracking"!
Because he was "double-tracking"!
The Fishing Trip
Why is fishing such a popular sport?
Because people are "hooked" on it!
Because people are "hooked" on it!
The Cycling Gear
Why did the cyclist ride his bike to the bank?
He wanted to check his "balance"!
He wanted to check his "balance"!
The Olympic Torch
Why did the torchbearer get lost?
He wasn't "bright" enough to follow the map!
He wasn't "bright" enough to follow the map!
The Final Stretch
Why did I tell 50 sports jokes?
I wanted to see if I could go the "distance"!
I wanted to see if I could go the "distance"!
